An Unwanted Amateur
by GoldenVine
Summary: John convinces Sherlock to spend a weekend away with him and Mrs Hudson. There he meets an old woman who will change his life for the better...or maybe the worst? *Sherlock and Miss Marple crossover* No pairings as of yet. Please read and review!


**A/N - I'm back to humour! I couldnt resist, this idea came to me a few weeks back and I finally had the chance to commit it to writing. Please R&R and I will be ever so grateful! GV**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Sherlock *sob***

**An Unwanted Amateur**

"I don't see why you agreed to this" stated Sherlock looming over the smaller man.

"Because, Sherlock, it was an invitation and she is our landlady and we are being polite" John replied curtly.

John was met with a grunt from Sherlock and a loud bang as the detective slammed his bedroom door closed.

"Are you ready to go boys?" called Mrs Hudson from down stairs.

"Yeah, we'll be down in a minute Mrs Hudson" John shouted unnecessarily loudly so that _all _occupants of the flat could hear.

"Sherlock are you ready yet, Mrs Hudson is waiting."

"I'm not going." Sherlock remarked from the other side of the hefty bedroom door.

"Yes you are."

"No, John, you are mistaken as usual. I will not go on a weekend away when there could be at least a level 7 case to solve here and we all know Scotland yard would not be able to withstand a weekend without my help. So therefore, I will not waste my valuable time _relaxing _and _gossiping _in a village which has only got one computer and a total of 56 residents, 34 of which are aged 65 and over." growled Sherlock.

Well he has certainly done his homework, time to use my secret weapon John thought.

"Sherlock remember when you were testing the effect of hallucinogenic drugs on yourself?"

The door to Sherlock's bedroom slowly creaked open to reveal the man himself standing with his nose in the air, "Yes."

"Well, I took a video and unless you want the whole of Scotland Yard seeing a video of you under a table dressed only in a sheet you had fashioned into a toga with a crown of tinfoil on your head, all whilst declaring yourself to be Julius Caesars son and claiming your "birth" right to the emperorship of the mighty Roman legion, then I suggest you put your coat on and get in the car." shouted John as if he were talking to a misbehaving child, which Sherlock acted like most of the time anyway.

"You wouldn't" Sherlock said.

"Try me" jested John with a serious tone of aggravation in his voice.

10 minutes later, after Sherlock had been gently persuaded into coming, they had all settled in Mrs Hudson's small yellow Fiat Punto, which lets face it had seen better days, and they were hurtling through London's streets at an incredibly fast speed for an old woman to drive at.

"I'm so glad you boys agreed to come it's the least I can do after all your help with my re-decorating" gushed Mrs Hudson as she double checked her mirrors and stopped at a set of traffic lights.

"There's really no need to thank us it was no problem, in fact really we should be thanking you. A weekend away is just what the doctor ordered" chuckled John, who was met with a steely glare from Sherlock via the rear view mirror. You see, there had been a small, really a very small argument about the seating arrangements within the car, when it was suggested, innocently, by Mrs Hudson that Sherlock should sit in the back and John in the front, to which Sherlock took great offence and stated that he was far taller than John and therefore needed more leg room to feel comfortable for the journey. Other suggestions made during the journey included the car radio be turned on, a game of eye spy being played and a small stop for John to use the toilet and Mrs Hudson to get a cup of coffee to which Sherlock stated that music was intolerable and promptly switched the car radio off, he also said eye spy was ridiculous and could only be played by someone 4 years or younger (or indeed Anderson) and he had point blank shouted that John should've gone to the toilet before they set off and Mrs Hudson should not intake more coffee as she was already a fairly dangerous driver without the added caffeine.

Its safe to say the rest of the drive was spent in silence.

A mere 3 hours later and the small yellow car wound up a tiny country road leading to a small picturesque village the likes of which John had only seen on postcards. They drove through streets upon streets lined with country cottages all with lavish front gardens full of flower beds and hedgerows. A few local produce shops were dotted about here and there and there was also a small pub/restaurant sitting on the corner of one street. Mrs Hudson navigated the narrow winding streets carefully while John read from a small fold out map of the village telling her where to go. It took John and Mrs Hudson a few minutes to realise where the bed and breakfast was situated that they were to spend the weekend at, no thanks to Sherlock who was still practicing the silent treatment. Mrs Hudson knew the woman who ran it quite well so had managed to secure 2 rooms without much hassle.

As they made their way to the bed and breakfast John noted the quaint surroundings of the countryside. It felt good to be breathing clean air for a change and the sound of bird song was soothing to the doctors ears. The bed and breakfast itself was small, it couldn't have had more than 3 guest bedrooms, and was sitting crammed between a small café and what looked like a garage. The outside was covered in crawling ivy and a neat hand painted sign sat above the oak door. Mrs Hudson set down her floral suitcase and hat box (John had questioned the hat box and Mrs Hudson had told him that one never knew when one might need a hat) and rapped gently on the iron knocker of the door. A few minutes later a small grey-headed woman opened the door and smiled genuinely at the other woman before pulling her into a tight embrace.

"Ah, Mrs Hudson, its been far too long!" she exclaimed.

"It most certainly has!" Mrs Hudson added with a small giggle, "Sherlock, John I am pleased to introduce you to my dear friend Ms Marple."

"How very nice to meet you boys. Mrs Hudson has told me all about you its wonderful to finally meet you in person." greeted Ms Marple with a gentle smile for added emphasis.

Sherlock's jaw clenched. He knew exactly who this woman was he had read a few local newspaper reports before arriving in the village. She fancied herself to be a bit of an amateur consulting detective, well we shall see about that, thought Sherlock. John smiled as he shook Ms Marple's hand and glanced to a stoic looking Sherlock. Well, so much for the relaxing week.


End file.
